The Female Complex Perks

Right. So.

I'm a bit late in posting.

Totally did that on purpose. 

My shoe fell off today..

I really believe feet get smaller at some point...

Line number 3 was a lie.

Dear Life: Can't quite believe I have people from over 15 countries reading my blog... and I've covered all the continents... wow.. Thanks everyone :)

So... Recap: I was brought back to Sudan. Cried about it. Got over it. Got on with it. Then wrote about it.

What happens now?

As many graduates from non-medical fields would tell you... after the hype of graduation...we get a dose of what I like to call the 'graduate blues'

Goes a bit like this: 

Why the hell did I waste all that money at Uni?! I didn't even need this..  This was the wrong degree! what the hell..  I need to do a masters...there are NO jobs... I need to do a diploma... What do I want to do with my life?? This is too much! I don't even know if I want these jobs I'm being rejected for anyway! I'm so sad.. I'm so happy! Everything is great... Omg everything sucks.. I don't know how I feel...*Cries*

Then there's those random dumb moments where you rose tint the most horrible memories to make them seem like they were so amazing, like your ex.. and how 'happy' you were.. breaking up was a mistake (even though it completely wasn't)... and how school was so care free back in the day.. (even though you probably didn't like it when you were there) 

I remember actually wanting a child at some point.. then I decided a cat would be better LOL

It's kind of like a bi-polar love-hate relationship where you like yourself for being a free spirit and not wanting to be tied down by some kind of soul draining occupation... but also feeling like you are entirely useless because you should have a job. A good graduate job.

 In Sudan there is less pressure on women. They don't have to have a job... They have a choice - you want to work - cool, you don't, don't worry! Someone will come and marry you anyway. He will take care of your finances and you will take care of the domestics. So they tend to either work any job until they get married, or just hang out until they get married... <- don't get me wrong, a lot of women work serious jobs, it's just not expected of them. 

At my particular job I am the only female. It's kind of nice... there is definitely discrimination - but not in the way you would expect  - Being female kind of means everyone feels the need to 'take care' of you... At first this used to infuriate me.. I took it as them genuinely believing that I was in some way intellectually inferior. Then I realized... Yes... they do think that... but ... I know I'm not... and frankly I'm getting a lot of annoying jobs done on my behalf... so... works for me...

For example there is the 'pay' complex, where because your female, they have to pay for all of your food when you eat out.. (tbh I couldn't deal with this one, felt a bit bad, so I taught them the English style) But it's a positive nonetheless! Then there is the never having to deal with anything that requires patience/ effort.. eg: Never having to wait in line for anything... never being yelled at even if you mess everything up...

A key difference is that in England men and women are treated the same. In Sudan, men and women are assigned different roles, and treated accordingly. It's interesting to say the least... and I'm loving the perks.. :)

God Bless the Animals

Look how cute that dog is! Aww its a Labrador.. and look! the other one.. its a Golden retriever oh my goodness they are just the swee.. WOOF..GROWL..CHASE..RUN!!

Dear Life: In Sudan Animals are evil.

Period

You remember how in England dogs can't wait to lick you and hug you and play! They get so happy when they see you or someone new and they love it when you take them for walks... And do you remember those foreigners (predominantly from the Middle East, North Africa or Asia) who freak out when they see your dog... and you always think what the hell...how can anyone be scared of such a gentle loyal creature...

Yeh.. Well this is why.

Here, animals roam around as freely as the people.The culture is too social for people to get attached to their animals and so very few people use dogs as anything other than guard dogs - Also cats are here predominantly to make sure there's no mouse in the house. This means that animals are not taken care of, and are wild - so when you walk down a dark ally, you're more affraid of being chased by a dog or bitten by one then anything else!

But there's a trick with dogs... If you lean down and pretend to pick up a rock the dogs gets it... he'll stop... turn around.. and run away...

You see, cats are just cats, they're the same everywhere, and the dogs are just like, well.. crazy... There's also stray lambs and sheep about.. but they're harmless...

But there's another thing.. the thing that is all over Sudan... ready to ruin your day... your food, your work... The thing you lock your doors from... and HATE...

Yes.. its called the 'Dobana' - This fly holds a bachelors degree in 'Human Irritation' And its not just a random fly that flies around.. no no no...

If your trying to sleep anytime after 9am it will come and land on your eyelash... your lip.. the tip of your nose... buzz around.. if you're eating it will decide to eat with you..(it digests extracellularly) And if you're drinking tea or coffee or juice and it can't drink some.. it will plonck itself in the middle of your drink.. and die..yes..it will sacrifice its life to ensure you don't enjoy your drink.

You might think, shoo it away? It comes back... to the exact same spot... kill it? It breeds faster than anything you can imagine.. and they come in large numbers... eventually you stop noticing it <-- haha thats a complete lie you don't, you just get over it.

Delayed Response.

God its hot. Uff. Really really hot.. its really hard to be productive when its like this...

Dear Life: It took me 5 minutes to shove everything in those couple of bags under my bed when those guests decided to come over. Why doesn't it take the same amount of time to find my stuff. This makes no sense.

 When people come over you have to say hi. That means go out, shake everyone's hand, sit, talk to them, provide them with a drink, then tea with cookies and what-not... and no, they don't call you beforehand to let you know that they are coming.. so the entire idea of being home in your pajamas all day is completely out of the question. You must look presentable at all times of the day.

Also the idea of being 'alone' is completely bizarre. Only crazy people have 'me' time. You cannot sit in any room, forget about 'your' room for more than 20 minutes without someone coming in, or banging on the door (if its locked) to come and see what your doing, what your up to... hang out...

Its a very invasive culture... if you dare.. tell people about your problems... wow...

They will involve themselves SO much in your life, and literally force you to do what they tell you because its right and they know whats best and this is what you should do!!! There's no such thing as 'I think you should do this, but its up to you'. Its more like 'You must do this! Yes! Let me help you.. does the thing for you, without your consent - and this is in everything, even in your marriage, they will go and talk to your partner for you, if your wife is sick they will tell you where to go regardless of your budget (and a lot of the time they have no idea what they're talking about, so you're basically being lead into a trap) - but you can't get angry because they mean well...

Another example of this is time. Oh time.

Its 11am the previous day - 'Hi Mr X, I would like to order a taxi for 3:00pm sharp Tomorrow. Can you do that?

'Absolutley I can!'

'Are you sure? Can I count on you, because I have a plane ride, and I needn't miss my plane!'

'Yes! 3 sharp, done'

'So how much will that be'

'Don't worry about that sunshine!, we'll talk about that later'


3pm.. no sight, 3:10, doesnt pick up phone, 3:30, phone is switched off...

5pm (On the plane) Hi! So, where did you say your house was?

You might think this is outrageous... but I've come to realize that its kindness.. they don't want to say no... that's all it comes down to. They feel like saying no is much worse than ruining your plans... and so you can't get angry... because again.. they mean well

Adapting to this was very difficult for me, I used to get really upset because in England this would never ever ever happen... but.. now I'm kinda used to it - and to be honest, now i book a cab for 6:30 and I start getting ready at 7, because I know it won't be here till 8:30!

There Just Has to be a C....

Background: I'm really hungry. I didn't have supper last night either and it looks like I will be having a late lunch, as my usual lunch companion is off work with the flu.

Dear Life: Lets get on with it.


While we're on the subject of food, you might find this quite interesting. The food here is much better than the food in England. Its not about it being 'fresh' and 'natural' or something, its just better. Tastes really good.

Food is also given a very high status, the entire culture of 'Coffee on the go' or a sandwich on the tube (not that there are tubes, just saying if there were) would be so bizarre here. Food is respected, and sat down for, and prepared meticulously. As is in England it is divided into 3 stages - breakfast, lunch and dinner, however early in the morning, people have tea with something, (bread or biscuits). Then between 11:30-12:30 its lunch... also known as 'Fatoor'. This is probably the most fussed about phenomanon ever.

At work its the most important thing - never mind your clients! Fatooooooooooooooooooooor tiiiiiiiiiiiiiime everyone, break. (there are no set breaks at work, just go with the flow! but that will be discussed in an entirely different post)

And dinner is just, the same, dinner.

Not eating is a matter of concern, and people think there is something wrong with you... You see, in Sudan, being thin = being ugly. Not eating = feeling hungry or it means your ill/sick.  so everyone worries and makes a massive fuss, which makes you eat even when your not hungry, just to avoid the fuss! Opening the fridge and grabbing a snack is simply not possible because food here comes in meals, so you have to sit, and give food respect. Its quite nice because it means you always eat with everyone, and you're never in a rush to eat and go...makes for a very chilled out, relaxed pace of life.

With reference to the title of this post, - yes. There always has to be a C... anyone who has lived in Sudan will tell you, no matter where you go out, no matter how fancy the place, if you eat outside, you will be accompanied. You sit around the table, with all of your friends/family/co-workers, and just as your about to start eating something grabs your leg from under then table...

'Meeeaaaaaaaaaaaooow'

There will always be a cat. I am yet to experience an exception. This was me yesterday having coffee with a client at Barista and yes, my companion... It's not accurate to say you get used to it, but like most things in Sudan, you just get over it