How on earth did Amal get George Clooney to Commit?

It seems like ever since George Clooney decided to get engaged, a royal schism has fallen upon the blogospheres – with half of bloggers praising the oh so wonderfully tactful (not to mention gorgeous)‘Amal’ on how she managed to 'convince' the notorious bachelor to marry her. While the other half (who had noted him as a commitment-phobe previously) wrote skeptically about the authenticity of this ‘engagement’.

Yaaaaaaaaaawn

Seriously, as much as I would like to say who cares, the internet (10 steps to find a man, 12 signs he’s marriage material, 15 ways to get him on one knee) and major advertisers who sponsor the websites with these articles would beg to differ.

So let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, there was Disney. Then, there was the economy. Disney said that prince charming would come along, and he would have a palace (house), a horse and carriage (some kind of vehicle) and lots of gold (Money). All you had to do to get the prince, was wear a dress (be pretty) and have some kind of sob story (be a 'good' girl), and he would find you.

Then men went to war, women started working, women liked working, the ‘shame’ on men who couldn’t provide for ‘their’ wives was lifted, and just like that, chivalry was dead.

Lol. Ok it wasn’t that extreme but you know what I mean.

Then the economy said ‘Hail THE MIGHTY recession!’

And pretty good girls found that their wait was starting to take too long… so instead of realizing that the reason that the prince wasn't coming was because he could no longer afford to be the only working spouse and therefore getting a job, they tried to chase the men themselves and thus swapped their title of being the ‘shy rose cheeked maiden’ for the ‘clingy, needy and dependant woman.’

Basically, its Disney’s fault.

The reason George Clooney refused to commit before Amal isn’t something I can tell you because I have never asked him. But what I can say is this, there is nothing more liberating than being single – you do what you want, when you want, how you want, you can pick up and leave, start over, integrate with new people without ever watching what you do/say, and afford to blow money without batting an eyelid or ever feeling guilt/being nagged. Even in your single state you will still have some things you will have to consider like family, friends, your place of work etc – but even with all of those considerations, it remains the state in which you are most free.

So if you are accomplished, free and happy – why on earth would you want to tie yourself down to someone who is just going to depend on you?

Chances are, unless the person shares your interests, work ethics, understands that sometimes you are busy, and is overall adding to your life – you are not going to give up your single life for them. Period.

I like to think of it as a swap – I would swap my single life for a relationship if that relationship is worth the swap, so for everything I lose, I will gain something and overall the relationship is better than being single.

Amal is a very accomplished human rights lawyer, she speaks 3 languages fluently and is from a different race to George…George is a well accomplished A-lister who made it big in Hollywood – being an A-lister means he got the top ranking for his industry – they are both highly and equally successful people and therefore have a lot to talk about/in common - if there is one thing we can be sure of, it’s that neither of them need one another, they just did the equation and found it worked out with a profit.

Mastering Sudan Part I

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve written in you blogger.

Remember the time you threatened to close down, and I went to tumblr and then tumblr and I didn’t understand each other and then you didn’t close down after all and then we got back together. *sigh*

Yes, well, I’m back. I quit my old job, and now I work on the radio – closer to my field and it’s kind of a nice post. So a quick recap for those who are not familiar with my blog – I am a random British raised, Sudanese woman describing my encounters since moving to Sudan in September 2012.

I am not treated as a Sudanese, but neither am I treated as a foreigner because even though I was never raised here, I am technically Sudanese, which makes it much more difficult for people to forgive my mistakes when I don’t greet them properly or say the correct line when someone dies… at first it was really upsetting… I felt very guilty but mostly I was confused - there are so many conventions and rules and it’s nearly impossible to do them all without feeling like a fraud... so I discovered a way around it.

If I wanted to live happily in Sudan, I had to remember a few simple things. 1) Kindly leave my moral compass and common sense in the cupboard along with my empty suitcase for when I leave again, and 2) Don’t think about anything.

At first I was so afraid of offending people because well, it’s really just not nice to… and in Sudan people take offence very easily – But what I discovered is that they also forgive very easily too. The best thing about this place is that as soon as people realize your intentions were not bad, they will automatically make excuses for you - forever; it’s actually really sweet – another thing that they do is they accept you regardless of who you are, no one is ever isolated. They say ‘Ho tab’o kida’ (6b3o kida) – which means ‘It’s just his/her nature’ – this is pretty much my free-pass card. Now when I don’t go to greet people, they come to me because ‘my nature is cold’ and they are not upset about it anymore. In fact, now if I do it, its like ‘wow Hind is amazing’ and if I don’t no one gets upset!!

It’s all about consistency, I realized that trying to change who I was to fit it and not offend anyone was just silly because I was setting myself up for a standard that I could not keep up with, whereas now that I’ve been branded in the ‘confused person’ category my life is pretty much awesome.