Dear Young Woman, Before Society Starts to Talk to You, Read This.

Hi Blogger

I recently made a video calling out some of the ridiculous ‘beauty’ norms that we have in the west, east and everywhere inbetween frankly. As we previously discussed, beauty is directly related to the country perceived by the world as the most advanced (this perception of beauty is of course not natural, and requires years of colonialism and forceful persuasion by the ‘dominant’ race on its colonies.)

 This is why typically beautiful features are usually European or attainable by Europeans only. 

See this photo from an Indian children’s book teaching children English. As you can see this brainwashing starts very young.

If you have the time, you can watch the vlog below, I would enjoy your input.

Inspired by this theme of talking to my younger self, I decided to dedicate today’s blog to women. I’d like to give advice to young women around the world about life which I have picked up along the way.

1.     You will be judged by the way you look more than anything else you do. Don’t bother thinking about this – do not listen to advice about dressing how you want to be perceived… this advice will lead you down a dodgy path which you will inevitably regret. Be you, if you don't know who you are yet, try out whatever you want until you find it, and own it.

2.     You are born with a need and desire to help people you love, and give as much of yourself as possible – the media exploits this need massively by feeding you fruitless advice, and then telling you what to do when their advice doesn't work. It’s not that they mean to ruin your life, its simply that the people writing the articles are often inexperienced and going on stereotypes and the need to pay bills, so they write with the hope to sell, not to help you. Don’t ask online why ‘he won’t text back’  - ask him. And if you’re scared of how that will make him feel about you – think about how much he cares about how him not texting YOU back makes you feel.

3.     When a woman is raped, in every country in the world there will be people who ask, what was she wearing? What was the time? And who was she with? – This is because we live in a man’s world. Men are never blamed without an explanation being offered. Ignore this. Remember this - Rape is the fault of the woman when she is raping. Rape is the fault of the man when he is raping.

4.     In relationships, again because we live in a man’s world (a world where men are the center from which we judge the norms) women are depicted as ‘emotional’ which is a positive thing, but the world says this is negative. Ignore them, and be as emotional as you want.

5.     Due to feminism and gender equality, countries like Sweden and Norway are very sexually liberal and have the same expectations and rewards for both women and men. This is wonderful, but it also demonstrates how we live in a man dominated society. Gender equality is perceived as ‘Woman can do all the things men can do, too” in reality, women don't want to be men. We enjoy other things too, but society thinks men are really great, and the best reward a woman can receive is to be allowed to be like a man. Ignore this, and be whatever you feel like. The point in gender equality is providing choice.

6.     When people tell you ‘you’re the man in your relationship’ they mean you are the strong great ‘non emotional’ one. When they say to a man ‘you’re the woman’ they mean you’re the pathetic emotional one. Being emotional makes a man pathetic, being emotional makes a woman normal … do you see where this is going? (it’s acceptable for women to be ‘pathetic and weak’ but not for men, the same way its acceptable for children to scream and cry but not for adults, why? Because adults know better, and so do men) This is patronizing, I know, its difficult to get to grips with – but that's how the world is, so try not to feed it by being ‘less emotional’ emotions are a wonderful thing, they are not pathetic – they are the reason YOU are the one who carries life into this world for nine months and YOU are the one who breastfeeds and YOU are the one who loves unconditionally.

7.      When dating, be frank, upfront and honest. Talk to the man from day one about what you want. The world demands that you tip-toe around men and wait until they are comfortable and not bring up things that you want like marriage/security/monogamy etc. Bring up what you want, be frank and it will save you a lot of time, and relieve you of many men who do not want the same things but may be otherwise compatible with you.

8.     You are a giver, men are takers. This is fed by society massively. It’s not only men who reinforce the ‘man’s’ world. Its mostly women. Women who defend the double standards in men’s rights ‘as long as men take care and marry obedient women like ‘them’.  Whatever you do, DO NOT become one of these women.

9.     Although western countries claim they have gender equality, women like J.K Rowling and Oprah Winfrey speak often about how sexism is far bigger than racism or any other prejudice when you climb up the ladder. Climb anyway – it wont last long if many women make it.

10.  Although in Eastern countries they claim that traditional gender roles are tied to religious obedience, they are not. They are tied to cultural norms and political advantages. You will find that you can challenge them using their own scriptures. You don't have to abandon your beliefs to achieve equality, God doesn't see you as inferior, politics and culture wants you to be, so stand up for your rights.

11.  In western countries there is a phenomenon known as ‘Resting Bitchy Face’ this is where a woman is expected to be smiling all the time so that she is not called a bitch. Frown and cry whenever you want to, and let everyone get used to it.

12.  In the east women who smile are seen as promiscuous, and sexually inviting. Be careful who you smile at, but remember, you have the right to smile or frown as a reflection of how you feel – don't put yourself in a position of danger, but campaign to change things that infringe your rights.

13. In the west if a man cheats on you, you are expected to walk out, and start over – you should respect yourself and leave him. People will judge you if you stay. Don’t concern yourself with this. If you feel that this is what you want to do, do it. If not, stay with him and work things out. Stay because YOU want to, not for the kids or because you’re used to him. The world says you wont find anyone, - women who have left beg to differ.

14. In the east if a man cheats on you, you are expected to stay with him, he only cheated because you are ‘not enough’ ‘not giving enough’ ‘being too nice’ ‘being too distant’ or … because he’s a man and it’s the other woman’s fault. You should think about your children and him and your family and society – never ever think about you. If you want to leave him, LEAVE. People will try to make you feel bad – ignore them, they are more concerned about maintaining sexist norms that will keep this cycle of hypocrisy alive than your children and your happiness.

15. If you want to be respected in the west, you have to be a working woman. If you want emotional satisfaction (in most women, not all) you will want a family and children. Gender equality means women can do what men do – not men do what ‘women’ have and still do, so don't delude yourself, you are expected to take care of domestics as well as work. Don’t buy into this. The real meaning of gender equality is that we are both equally valued. Find a man who respects and SHARES, not just ‘helps out’ with domestics.

16. If you feel like feminism is wrong, and we should be promoting ‘gender equality’ instead – my darling you have been sadly deluded into believing that the world sees men and women as equal. Remember, men have always had rights, and it was during a time where sexism was the norm when men created the blueprint for the world we live in today. Therefore cultural, political and societal norms back up sexism against women – making it harder for us to have rights, let alone stand up for them. Although sexism against men does exist, it is not as institutionally accepted as sexism against women. Don’t forget this.

17. And finally. Sexual liberation means men and women can enjoy relations without commitment or fear of judgment in many countries. This is something men have been enjoying for a very long time, and only recently women are ‘enjoying’ this too.  If you don’t enjoy this – don't do it. There is nothing wrong with you, this was, for a very long time how men enjoyed themselves. Women traditionally like to be loved emotionally more and enjoyed physical relations when they were emotionally attached. Imagine a world where men were allowed to be emotional without being judged or looked down upon – you could probably be emotionally loving to many men without getting attached, but they would be hurt eventually by this as this is not how they traditionally enjoy themselves. The same principle applies in reverse. One of the worst things society does to you as a woman is that it makes you dislike things about you, things that if you changed would make men happier, don’t change anything you don't want to change, and embrace who you are - you are great.