Rethink: Entire Life
Dear Life: I don't want to be here. Why would you put me on the spot like this. We are so not talking. I need a break.
Even though it was in my original plan to move to Sudan for six months anyway... The moment
the choice was taken away from me (which it kind of wasn't as I did have the option
to stay, but that's besides the point because I would no longer have a home in England) everything seemed to crumble... Why Sudan...forever.... 'Its where I'm from' - I don't know where I'm from...Why does anyone have to be from anywhere? What makes you from somewhere? Finding yourself there? Being Born there? Looking like those people? Technically the world belongs to whomever made it... So technically, I can be from wherever I feel like... countries are man made aren't they?
Denial:
Ha! Dad always says this, I'm calling his bluff, he can't.. he simply cannot
give up a perfectly wonderful life for a very difficult one. nope makes no
sense. Haha I knew it! Yep. Right. Who wants tea?
Fast-Forward to September 18th - I graduated Yay!
September 19th - 5pm. On the flight to Khartoum.
Nope he wasn't joking, about anything.
Sudan:
It's hot as hell. Dirty, no one leaves you alone, everyone stares at
everything, everyone has something to say about you with no limits, there is absolutely no respect for your time what-so-ever and the internet works when it likes. The
power is always out and the water plays up too sometimes...The cold shower option goes hot after 5 seconds of turning it on
(which is not nice considering its usually 35-40 degrees C outside) and everyone seems to say 'Oh it never usually cuts out
like this!' Which you realize is not true after a while.. its actually seasonal.. when you need the air conditioning the most, yep, summer time, that's when it cuts the most.
And Children - Yes this needs its own paragraph - seem to think it's their business where you go and what you're doing
and when you're back.. And they have every right to rummage through your things @##$@#%@!!!!!!!!!. Anyway, I was also undergoing new thoughts about what I wanted to do with my career which made things a bit more confusing...
After two weeks of no internet, moping around and feeling sorry for myself, and crying..
A lot. I decided to see what was out there, in this supposed 'home' country of
mine. Our house is quite nice.. a bit big for my liking but.. yeh.. its
alright... I lent over to look outside my living room window and saw two
tiny little birds chirping.. before I could finish my trance of thoughts about
how, 'see, it's not all bad, they're beautiful' the birds started attacking
each other... and then there was a power cut immediately after...at this point
I just laughed hysterically because honestly, even though compared to England
this felt like the worst place ever - There's something about it that makes you unable to get depressed..
you just get on with it... I hadn't realized it at the time, but I'd learned
patience.
Monday, 28 January 2013
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
Welcome To My Blog.
We Need To Talk About Life.
Although usually a private and reserved individual, I have decided that perhaps one day, I may look back and think I did nothing with my life. So I've decided to blog it.
Dear Life: If you do not begin to take me seriously. I will stop taking you seriously. I am, deadly serious. Pun intended.
Little Background:
Born in Saudi Arabia, Ethnically Sudanese, Raised from very early on in the United Kingdom; - in a very small town, where no other races existed however unlike most other stories where people talk about their horrible experiences being the only family from some 'other' race - I didn't feel that way at all... in fact, I felt like race didn't matter, and I grew to not notice other peoples colors or religious beliefs because to be honest... Its just really silly to...
Anyway, so I grew up, and went to University in London. First year was about making as many friends as possible. Second years was about fixing the damage from first year and getting as much work experience as possible (Media, I worked on several television channels, Three in all) and Third year was about writing up the best research possible and really discussing (with myself) serious job prospects for the future. I decided that I would go to Sudan (which i visit every 2 years), work there for six months and then return to London to work with my new advantage of some kind of 'exotic' experience.
And that was that.
Then. One day. I was trotting happily in London, thinking about whether to eat at Camden Town or just go to the chicken shop... when i received a phone call.
'Hi Dad!' I beamed. Waiting for the long Sudanese greetings to finish (how are you, how is everything, hope you're well, how are my siblings, how is global warming, this greeting never ends... etc) so I could tell him what I did and where I went and how everything was and what I'm eating and how much I hate my research.
'I've decided to move to Sudan. For good. This time I'm serious, I'm handing in my resignation form this week and we leave in September. I need you to find out when your graduation is so that I can make sure to book our flight right after.'
Deadpan. Shock. Horror.
I always knew this day would come. But I didn't realize this day was coming.
It Came.
TBC.
We Need To Talk About Life.
Although usually a private and reserved individual, I have decided that perhaps one day, I may look back and think I did nothing with my life. So I've decided to blog it.
Dear Life: If you do not begin to take me seriously. I will stop taking you seriously. I am, deadly serious. Pun intended.
Little Background:
Born in Saudi Arabia, Ethnically Sudanese, Raised from very early on in the United Kingdom; - in a very small town, where no other races existed however unlike most other stories where people talk about their horrible experiences being the only family from some 'other' race - I didn't feel that way at all... in fact, I felt like race didn't matter, and I grew to not notice other peoples colors or religious beliefs because to be honest... Its just really silly to...
Anyway, so I grew up, and went to University in London. First year was about making as many friends as possible. Second years was about fixing the damage from first year and getting as much work experience as possible (Media, I worked on several television channels, Three in all) and Third year was about writing up the best research possible and really discussing (with myself) serious job prospects for the future. I decided that I would go to Sudan (which i visit every 2 years), work there for six months and then return to London to work with my new advantage of some kind of 'exotic' experience.
And that was that.
Then. One day. I was trotting happily in London, thinking about whether to eat at Camden Town or just go to the chicken shop... when i received a phone call.
'Hi Dad!' I beamed. Waiting for the long Sudanese greetings to finish (how are you, how is everything, hope you're well, how are my siblings, how is global warming, this greeting never ends... etc) so I could tell him what I did and where I went and how everything was and what I'm eating and how much I hate my research.
'I've decided to move to Sudan. For good. This time I'm serious, I'm handing in my resignation form this week and we leave in September. I need you to find out when your graduation is so that I can make sure to book our flight right after.'
Deadpan. Shock. Horror.
I always knew this day would come. But I didn't realize this day was coming.
It Came.
TBC.
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