‘This is absolutely
ridiculous! Ha!
It will never happen to me. Nope. Never. These people are overly conservative.
I couldn't care less’.
She said. To herself -
Once upon a time when it was just a 'story'.
If you're wondering where that passage came from - it
was my response during a conversation with a traditional Sudanese cousin of
mine, when she tried to explain to me that women who eat in front of
men during Ramadan are really rude.
During the menstrual cycle, women are not allowed to fast during Ramadan - they
must eat, and they must then re-fast after the month is over to make up for the
days they didn't fast. Women also do not pray during their menstrual cycle but
they do not have to make up the prayers - just the fasts.
This is a well known fact to all Muslims. Women are commanded NOT to
fast.
I repeat. Not to fast.
Yet there is a social convention that prevents them from eating in public
places... I'm sorry let me re-phrase that - women are expected to become FBI
food agents during their cycles.
It's rude to eat during Ramadan in front of a man. And this is not something
only present in Sudanese culture - its everywhere - any Muslim country has the
same taboo, which is bizarre because it is directly hypocritical to the
religious teachings they are supposed to practice.
As you can imagine, I found this absolutely ridiculous, I mean seriously,
if I have to make up these days I'm definitely going to at least enjoy them
now. After much head scratching and weighing out my options of how not to
offend people vs not compromising my own morals, I decided that this was really
silly and I would eat.
Then... a colleague of mine, who was also not fasting decided to go to
the Supermarket
Her: 'Hind you get out and get the food! I can't I just cannot!'
Me: Umm... Sure
I decided to go for something light, like a chocolate bar and a drink,
basically snacks - the lady at the till was eyeing me suspiciously, and
everyone was peeking... at the time I didn't understand why because they too
were food shopping – but I later realized that my shopping was the only
shopping that looked like ‘right now’ food. When I got back to my car I took
out the food to my friend’s utter horror
Her: 'NOOO!!! Not here!!!! Let’s park somewhere remote where no one can see
us!!!
Me: Err OK...
So I literally drove to a corner within a corner before she was comfortable
enough to eat. After we finished the snacks my friend shoved the wrappers in a
bag, which she tied in several knots, then into another bag and then placed
them underneath a rock near rubble on the side of the road. At this point I was
on the verge of crying with laughter but I knew I couldn't because she was so
serious about this...
It was when we got back to the office that things took a turn. One of the staff
as a joke asked
'Are you fasting? You look too energized today!
And just when I was about to answer my friend jumped in, in a nervously loud
shriek
'YES!!! OF COURSE SHE IS!!! WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT'.
He eyed us both suspiciously and then left the office at which she let out a
massive sigh.
Up until that point I was fine. But now that she had
lied on my behalf (out of very good intentions) it meant that I couldn't eat in
front of anyone... I started to notice everything like how 'this drink leaves a
red mark around the lips or those chips leave a lasting food smell therefore
avoid eating those... it was completely ridiculous and annoying but as always I
came to a conclusion.
Even though there are many reasons Muslims can be eating during Ramadan – a
women eating in public is the same as a woman holding a banner with ‘I’M ON MY
PERIOD’ written on it, in public.
The culture here is very conservative, therefore it is not perceived as a bold statement, but more as you being rude. I tried the FBI food agent thing but it felt too fake, so as a compromise I decided to just eat in private and not lie whenever I was asked. Eventually I think things will change but for now... FBI food agents - I feel for you.
